Sunday Dinner

Italians have a $40,000. kitchen, but use the $259 stove
from Sears in the basement to cook.

There is some sort of religious statue in the hallway,
living room, bedroom, front porch and backyard.

The living
room is filled with old wedding favors with poofy net
bows and stale almonds
(they are too pretty to open).

A portrait of the
Pope,Frank Sinatra, and Marlon Brando in the dining room.

God forbid if
anyone EVER attempted to eat Chef Boy-are-dee, Franco
American, Ragu, Prego or anything else in a jar.

Meatballs are made with Pork, Veal and Beef. We
are Italians, we don't care about cholesterol.

Turkey is served on
Thanksgiving, AFTER the manicotti, gnocchi, lasagna and
soup.

If anyone
EVER says ES-CAROLE, slap 'em in the face -- it's
SHCAROLE.

If they ever
say ITALIAN WEDDING SOUP, let the idiot know that there is
no wedding, nor is there an Italian in the soup. Also, the
tiny meatballs must be made by hand.

No matter how hard you know you were going to get smacked, you
still came home from church after communion, you stuck half a
loaf of bread in the sauce pot, snuck out a fried meatball and
chowed down you'll make up for it next week at confession.

Sunday dinner was at 2:00. The meal went like this...

Table is
set with everyday dishes...doesn't matter if they don't match
.they're clean, What more do you want?

All the utensils go on the right side of the
plate and the napkin goes on the left. Put a clean kitchen
towel at Nonno & Papa's plate because they won't use napkins.

Homemade wine and bottles
of 7up are on the table.

First course, Antipasto...change
plates.

Next, Macaroni (Nonna called all pasta Macaroni)...change
plates.

After that, Roasted Meats, Roasted Potatoes, Over-cooked
Vegetables...change plates.

THEN and only then (NEVER AT THE BEGINNING
OF THE MEAL) would you eat the salad (HOMEMADE OIL &
VINEGAR DRESSING ONLY)...change plates.

Next,
Fruit & Nuts - in the shell (on paper plates because you
ran out of the other ones).

Coffee with Anisette (Espresso for Nonno, 'Merican' coffee
for the rest) with hard Cookies to dip in the coffee.

The kids go
play...the men go to lay down. They slept so soundly you
could perform brain surgery on them without anesthesia..the
women clean the kitchen.

Getting screamed at by Mom or Nonna - half the sentence was
English, the other half Italian.

Italian mothers never threw a baseball in their life, but
can nail you in the head with a shoe thrown from the kitchen
while you're in the living room.

The true Italians will love this, those of you who
are married to Italians will understand this, and those of
you who are friends with Italians will remember and will
forward it to their Italian friends!