Author Topic: Is this the worst yet?  (Read 20324 times)

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Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #375 on: September 08, 2018, 17:15:33 PM »
'I made a ventriloquists dummy out of old carpet'

'What was it like?'

'Ruggish'
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline K@

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #376 on: September 10, 2018, 09:55:52 AM »
Quote
Is this the worst yet?

You hit the nail on the head, there, Freddie.
The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact. - P. G. Wodehouse

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #377 on: September 24, 2018, 17:03:38 PM »
Freddy Mercury is having dinner in a Greek restaurant while a wedding reception is taking place in the function room.

The happy couple notice him and come over to speak to him.

They ask if he would help them celebrate in the Greek tradition by breaking a couple of plates.

"Certainly" he says "but I need another plate".

"Why is that?" they enquire.

Freddy replies, "I want to break three!"
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #378 on: Yesterday at 08:07:30 »
I’ve been having a problem with nuisance phone calls.

The most common one is “you said you’d be home from the pub three hours ago”
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #379 on: Yesterday at 17:28:56 »
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine