Total Twaddle

Funzone. => Funny Twaddle => Topic started by: fred on January 20, 2012, 18:27:00 PM

Title: from the diary of a cruise captain's girlfriend
Post by: fred on January 20, 2012, 18:27:00 PM
DEAR DIARY .. DAY ONE

I am all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship. I've packed all my pretty dresses and make-up. I'm really excited.

____________________________________________ ______ _________________

DEAR DIARY ... DAY TWO

We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw some whales and dolphins. What a wonderful vacation this has started to be. I met the Captain today and he seems like a very nice man.

____________________________________________ ______ __________________

DEAR DIARY ... DAY THREE

I spent some time in the pool today. I also did some shuffle boarding and hit some golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. I felt honoured and we had a wonderful time. He is a very attractive and attentive gentleman.

____________________________________________ ______ _________________

DEAR DIARY ... DAY FOUR

Went to the ship's casino .. did OK ... won about $80. The Captain invited me to have dinner with him in his state room. We had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. I told him there was no way I could be unfaithful to my husband.

____________________________________________ ______ ________________

DEAR DIARY ... DAY FIVE

Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside. The Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks. He really is a charming gentleman He again asked me to visit him for the night and again I declined. He told me that if I didn't let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was appalled.

____________________________________________ ______ _______________

DEAR DIARY ... DAY SIX

I saved 1600 lives today... Twice
Title: Re: from the diary of a cruise captain's girlfriend
Post by: Teegs7 on January 20, 2012, 21:02:12 PM
 :laugh:
Title: Re: from the diary of a cruise captain's girlfriend
Post by: Nana of 8 on January 21, 2012, 23:49:23 PM
 :laugh:
Title: Re: from the diary of a cruise captain's girlfriend
Post by: fred on January 29, 2012, 08:09:55 AM
# How do they serve alcoholic drinks on Italian cruise ships? - On the rocks


# What vegetables do you get with dinner on Italian cruise ships? - Leeks


# What's the fastest way to get off an Italian cruise ship? - Follow the captain


# When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew where he was going he replied "off course."


# So the captain of the Costa Concordia will soon be in the dock. That's more than can be said for his ship.


# The Costa Concordia is probably the most expensive thing to go down in Italy since Berlusconi's last hooker.


# What's the difference between the Italian economy and the stricken cruise liner Costa Concordia?

Nothing - The bottoms dropped out of both.

what do george micheal and the cruize ship have in common ?

both found in the morning, lying on their side, with a damaged bottom, after a night cruizing
Title: Re: from the diary of a cruise captain's girlfriend
Post by: cowleen on January 29, 2012, 16:01:20 PM
 :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: from the diary of a cruise captain's girlfriend
Post by: Nana of 8 on January 31, 2012, 22:44:40 PM
:giggle:
Title: Re: from the diary of a cruise captain's girlfriend
Post by: Dundee on October 13, 2013, 12:26:38 PM
Quote

# When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew where he was going he replied "off course."



That's where he still is.  :)