Author Topic: downsized  (Read 858 times)

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Offline fred

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downsized
« on: December 02, 2013, 09:52:24 AM »
So me and a couple of mates rolled out of the club around 2am with thick heads and an attack of the 'munchies'. Off we went to the kebab van. The guy working the van was new, some old geezer done up in seasonal garb; red hat, pants, etc. It was obviously too hot for the jacket, so he had the 'traditional' sweaty vest. I was about to order when I suddenly realised the white beard was real, and the rosy cheeks weren't make-up.
"Santa?" I asked cautiously
"Yep, that's me" he intoned
"But, shouldn't you be up at the Pole getting the prezzies ready"
"I got 'downsized'"
"I don't believe it. What happened?"
"Oh, it started after Amazon took off. I hate those bastards. Suddenly the demand for pressies went right down. Then the EU 'elf 'n' safety crowd turned up and decided my elfs weren't safe; no mandatory 'working at height' training or some such rubbish - apparently the workbenches counted as 'at height' for them. I had to go to the banks for a loan for a new sleigh. The bank collapsed and got taken over by a hedge fund. Then they decided last year that I no longer fit the 'brand image for a new generation', and here I am. Lucky to get this, frankly"
"Wow! Tragic!"
"That's the way the glacier crumbles, I guess. Anyway, what can I get you?"
"Donner, please"
"Sorry, we're out of Donner. Will Dasher do?"
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline Lisa

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Re: downsized
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2013, 20:29:12 PM »
/sadface
♫ ♬ ♪ ♩ ♭ ♪ For once in your lifetime will you, do what you want not what you have to. ♫ ♬ ♪ ♩ ♭ ♪

Offline Nana of 8

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Re: downsized
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2013, 00:16:14 AM »
 ;D
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Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.