Author Topic: Is this the worst yet?  (Read 22006 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline fred

  • Is old for the day....
  • Global Mod
  • At One With Twaddle
  • ********
  • Posts: 66646
  • Appreciation 8
  • Gender: Male
  • Mr Greybeard.
    • cymrogwyllt
Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #360 on: July 07, 2018, 16:59:56 PM »
Isn't that a repeat, Fred?

It's a getting older thing
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline K@

  • He's not Catweazle. He's a beautiful Princess!
  • Non Stop Talker
  • ******
  • Posts: 23128
  • Appreciation 6
  • Gender: Male
Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #361 on: July 07, 2018, 21:12:38 PM »
I know that one...
The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact. - P. G. Wodehouse

Offline fred

  • Is old for the day....
  • Global Mod
  • At One With Twaddle
  • ********
  • Posts: 66646
  • Appreciation 8
  • Gender: Male
  • Mr Greybeard.
    • cymrogwyllt
Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #362 on: July 15, 2018, 17:38:56 PM »
If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline fred

  • Is old for the day....
  • Global Mod
  • At One With Twaddle
  • ********
  • Posts: 66646
  • Appreciation 8
  • Gender: Male
  • Mr Greybeard.
    • cymrogwyllt
Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #363 on: July 18, 2018, 18:02:15 PM »
Did you hear about the dermatologist who started from scratch?

It was a rash decision.....
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline fred

  • Is old for the day....
  • Global Mod
  • At One With Twaddle
  • ********
  • Posts: 66646
  • Appreciation 8
  • Gender: Male
  • Mr Greybeard.
    • cymrogwyllt
Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #364 on: August 05, 2018, 17:34:10 PM »
We went to a restaurant tonight that specialised in cooking exotic animals and birds.

The Pelican was really tasty, but the bill was enormous!
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline fred

  • Is old for the day....
  • Global Mod
  • At One With Twaddle
  • ********
  • Posts: 66646
  • Appreciation 8
  • Gender: Male
  • Mr Greybeard.
    • cymrogwyllt
Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #365 on: August 06, 2018, 17:24:34 PM »
An old native american couple were being interviewed by the local news team, and the reporter asked the old bloke his name. "my name is Eagle Claw, and this is my wife, Four Ponies". The reporter was trying to impress the old woman so he turned to her and said "What a wonderful name, so evocative"

The old bloke leant forward and said "That's her official name, but in reality its nag, nag, nag, nag...."
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline fred

  • Is old for the day....
  • Global Mod
  • At One With Twaddle
  • ********
  • Posts: 66646
  • Appreciation 8
  • Gender: Male
  • Mr Greybeard.
    • cymrogwyllt
Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #366 on: August 09, 2018, 18:18:49 PM »
My sister's gone to the USA.

Where?

Alaska.

Thanks, let me know when she answers. My sister's gone to the USA.

Where?

Alaska.

Thanks, let me know when she answers.
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline K@

  • He's not Catweazle. He's a beautiful Princess!
  • Non Stop Talker
  • ******
  • Posts: 23128
  • Appreciation 6
  • Gender: Male
Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #367 on: August 09, 2018, 20:47:23 PM »
* K@ titters
The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact. - P. G. Wodehouse

Offline fred

  • Is old for the day....
  • Global Mod
  • At One With Twaddle
  • ********
  • Posts: 66646
  • Appreciation 8
  • Gender: Male
  • Mr Greybeard.
    • cymrogwyllt
Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #368 on: August 23, 2018, 18:05:02 PM »
Trump's aide on Monday said to him, "Sir, I had a dream you got your parade. It was miles and miles long, winding through Washington, D.C. Joyful Americans lined the route, literally in the millions. You were riding in the most beautiful carriage. It was the biggest parade in U.S. history."

Trump beamed and asked, "Was I happy?"

The aide answered, "I don't know, sir, the casket was closed."
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline K@

  • He's not Catweazle. He's a beautiful Princess!
  • Non Stop Talker
  • ******
  • Posts: 23128
  • Appreciation 6
  • Gender: Male
Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #369 on: August 25, 2018, 21:07:08 PM »
 :) ;D :D :laugh:
The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact. - P. G. Wodehouse

Offline fred

  • Is old for the day....
  • Global Mod
  • At One With Twaddle
  • ********
  • Posts: 66646
  • Appreciation 8
  • Gender: Male
  • Mr Greybeard.
    • cymrogwyllt
Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #370 on: August 28, 2018, 17:18:11 PM »
Buying a Chinese takeaway £7.50

Paying extra for delivery 50p

Opening the bag to find a containerís missing...

.....riceless!
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline fred

  • Is old for the day....
  • Global Mod
  • At One With Twaddle
  • ********
  • Posts: 66646
  • Appreciation 8
  • Gender: Male
  • Mr Greybeard.
    • cymrogwyllt
Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #371 on: August 28, 2018, 17:56:47 PM »
My mate said, "I like your sports car."

I said, "It's not very practical now we've got a baby."

He said, "How about I buy it off you."

I said, "Yeah go on then. £4000?"

He said, "You've got yourself a deal."

I said, "Nice one... you're going to make a brilliant dad."
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline K@

  • He's not Catweazle. He's a beautiful Princess!
  • Non Stop Talker
  • ******
  • Posts: 23128
  • Appreciation 6
  • Gender: Male
Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #372 on: August 29, 2018, 16:02:31 PM »
Saw that coming. Still quite amusing, though. :)
The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact. - P. G. Wodehouse

Offline fred

  • Is old for the day....
  • Global Mod
  • At One With Twaddle
  • ********
  • Posts: 66646
  • Appreciation 8
  • Gender: Male
  • Mr Greybeard.
    • cymrogwyllt
Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #373 on: September 04, 2018, 17:51:25 PM »
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

"How was he killed?" asked one detective.

"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.

"A golf gun! What is a golf gun?"

"I don't know for sure yet, but it really made a hole in Juan."
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline K@

  • He's not Catweazle. He's a beautiful Princess!
  • Non Stop Talker
  • ******
  • Posts: 23128
  • Appreciation 6
  • Gender: Male
Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #374 on: September 05, 2018, 13:19:12 PM »
OMFG!
The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact. - P. G. Wodehouse