Author Topic: Is this the worst yet?  (Read 30437 times)

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Offline K@

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #390 on: November 02, 2018, 09:10:03 AM »
I can imagine that actually happening.
The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact. - P. G. Wodehouse

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #391 on: November 02, 2018, 13:31:51 PM »
I've just spent £300 on hiring a limo for the weekend, but apparently it doesn't pay for the driver.

All that money and nothing to chauffeur it...
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline K@

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #392 on: November 09, 2018, 09:35:06 AM »
O



M



G



!
The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact. - P. G. Wodehouse

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #393 on: November 09, 2018, 17:56:00 PM »
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #394 on: December 21, 2018, 17:36:11 PM »
I don't like to brag BUT... Good Christmas deed done!

Yesterday afternoon at the checkout I was behind an old lady in the queue. Her bill came to £56.83 but when she counted out all her change she only had just under £50.

I thought she was probably someoneís Nan and Iíd like to think someone would have helped my Nan out.

She didnít want me to help her but I insisted, and in no time we had all her shopping back on the shelves...
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #395 on: January 30, 2019, 07:52:08 AM »
Two guys were lying in their hospital beds waiting to go to theatre. One asked the other: "What are you in for?"
He answered: " an endoscopy"
"What's that?" the first one asked.
"They put a tube down your throat into your stomach to check for ulcers and cancer. What are you in for?"
"A camera up my backside."
"Ah! That's a colonoscopy" said the first guy.
"No" said the other, "My wife caught me taking pictures of our next door neighbour sunbathing in the nude."
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline T‚f

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #396 on: January 30, 2019, 08:49:48 AM »
:rofl:

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #397 on: February 03, 2019, 17:35:12 PM »
The god of war rode out one day, upon his favourite filly
I'm Thor he cried, the horse replied
Forgot your thaddle thilly
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline K@

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #398 on: February 03, 2019, 18:56:39 PM »
Thuck me...
The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact. - P. G. Wodehouse

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #399 on: February 15, 2019, 07:53:38 AM »
What do you call a cow that can't produce milk?

an udder failure.
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline K@

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #400 on: February 15, 2019, 14:39:03 PM »
mmmm... udders...

:)
The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact. - P. G. Wodehouse

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #401 on: March 08, 2019, 17:16:13 PM »
...
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline Nana of 8

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #402 on: March 08, 2019, 21:01:49 PM »
:lol:
Queen Ebayer

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #403 on: March 13, 2019, 17:07:34 PM »
....
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #404 on: March 13, 2019, 17:09:18 PM »
My wife phoned me at work today, she said "Have you been experiencing any unexplained stabbing pains in your chest, like someone is sticking pins in a voodoo doll?"

I thought for a minute then replied "No I don't think I have"

She was silent for a couple of seconds then said "How about now......?"
I jumped off a bridge in Paris.

They told me I was in seine