Author Topic: Is this the worst yet?  (Read 39037 times)

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Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #420 on: August 01, 2019, 06:59:51 AM »
Police in Liverpool pulled over a local lad and were amazed to find the car taxed M.O.T. tested and insured.
It wasn't stolen and there were no stolen goods or drugs found.
The driver was sober AND He had a full licence and no points.

A police spokesman said, "We had no option but to fine him 80 for wasting police time."
Gym?  Thought you said Gin.

Online Tf

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #421 on: August 01, 2019, 08:36:57 AM »
The missus asked "Is it just me, or is the cat getting fat?"

"No, it's just you" was not the right answer apparently...

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #422 on: August 01, 2019, 17:27:36 PM »
My partner told me that sex is better on holiday.

Not the best postcard I've ever received...........
Gym?  Thought you said Gin.

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #423 on: October 03, 2019, 18:04:44 PM »
It's a 5 minute walk from my home to the pub but a 35 minute walk back.

The difference is staggering.
Gym?  Thought you said Gin.

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #424 on: November 14, 2019, 18:33:35 PM »
"Am I going to be OK doc?"
"I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus right now."
"I don't go in for that astrology stuff."
"Neither do I but my thermometer has just broken."
Gym?  Thought you said Gin.

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #425 on: November 21, 2019, 17:24:35 PM »
....
Gym?  Thought you said Gin.

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #426 on: November 22, 2019, 17:12:53 PM »
 [At parole hearing]
Officer: Why should you be released early?
Man: Im...
Officer: Go on.
Man: I think...
Officer: Yes?
Man: Can I please finish my sentence?
Officer: Sure. Parole denied.
Gym?  Thought you said Gin.

Offline fred

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Re: Is this the worst yet?
« Reply #427 on: December 03, 2019, 17:20:52 PM »
What do you call an elf who wins the lottery?





Welfy
Gym?  Thought you said Gin.